Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize