He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
