I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
