sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
