im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
