Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
