Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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