I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
