I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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