I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize