I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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