my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
