just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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