we have pet lesbian snakes
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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