I am puke
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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