either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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