I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
