I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
