Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
