My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
