Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
