These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize