Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My pussy is not your playground.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
