ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
