At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
