both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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