i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
