Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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