I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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