im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
