These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
