it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
