i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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