any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
