his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
