My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
