the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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