do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
