Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
