I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
