Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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