Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
