if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
