Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
