in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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