her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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