How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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