Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
