But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I believe in your delicious
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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