I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
