Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
