Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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