Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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