scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
