she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i came on her dog
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
