im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize