its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
