WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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