I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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