UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
