i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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