so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
