I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
