i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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