Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize