i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
